There is this saying that goes ‘’ people do not care how much you know but want to know how much
you care’’. This is the same with parenting; you cannot be an effective parent if you do not first
connect with your child on an emotional level. To correct your child, you first have to learn how to
connect.
Connecting involves loving your child and showing and telling her how much you love her. There
are various ways we can connect with our children.
1) Be emotionally present in their lives, when you are with them let them know you are not
just physically available but emotionally ready.
2) Talk and listen to them, tell your children about your day, the highs and the lows. Ask them
about their own day, use more of feeling words, teach your child to express how they feel.
3) Always ask open ended questions so you can have an in depth knowledge of what is going
on their mind.
4) Take interest in their interest or hobbies, please do not be judgemental. Approach their
interest or hobbies with an open mind.
5) Invite them into your world, let them know what you are doing, what you are interested in.
6) Create or find new hobbies that you both enjoy.
7) Do house chores or certain activities together. Especially with your teenagers. In the process
of working together you get talking and they tend to tell you stuff.
8) Tell and show them that you love them by responding through their love languages
9) Go on individual dates with each child.
10) Let your children know you can trust them and they can trust you in turn.
It is very important that you are a strong pillar in the life of your child, when they are in trouble you
will be the first person the go to, if faced with a dilemma or they need to take certain decision you
will be the first person that comes to mind. Let your voice and influence be very impactful.

OLUWATOYIN OGUNKANMI
PARENTING SUPPORT SYSTEM LTD